Sunday, March 14, 2010

Glorious Insults

Perhaps "insults" are not the most edifying or high-minded way to express one's loneliness for a well-loved use of the English language.

And perhaps this list is old and known by too many.

In case not, I could not resist posting these here, an ode to a loving respect for the written and spoken word.

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

"He had delusions of adequacy."

Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.."
Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
Robert Redford

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'
Thomas Brackett Reed

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
Billy Wilder

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
Abraham Lincoln

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about. '
Winston Churchill

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

Saturday, March 13, 2010

This from a friend

Apparently it takes 4 hours to do a hand

(You can click on the slide show to go to the (larger) pictures themselves.)